Sunday, May 15, 2011
Final Words In My Portfolio As A Senior in High School
Being a part of Hunter College early college program has prepared me for my future. Ever since entering this program, it has taught me to learn how to interact with others and find myself. It also helped me obtain certain skills such as personal study time and use any resources that are available to help me. A great moment of success is definitely getting acceptance letters from colleges. There are times where I lost faith in myself, thinking I was never college bound, but it felt good reading the many letters that came through my mailbox and emails. Asides from that, I have faced obstacles like managing time and studying. After taking this class, I enjoy writing. Although, I feel as if it has drained my creative mind since we focused on writing every day and not reading longer stories and books. I enjoyed the presentations we did for the end of the year. The short stories that we read in class all contribute to helping me learn. This year, I took Forensics Biology, Precalculus, Statistics, and English Composition Writing. Forensics biology along with English Writing are my favorite classes. Both classes intrigued me. From learning about crime cases to writing papers on food policy, it was completely different than what I thought it would be. Every course I took is fairly equal. In the future, I plan to continue having personal study time. I also want to continue having study groups and having some free time to relax. By catching up with my reading and even going to the gym, or watching my Asian dramas, I can see myself not feeling overwhelmed. I need to manage time and stick to my plans. I used the Dolciani Math Center, the computer lab, and the first floor library. I also used the 7th floor lounge and the Writing Center to help concentrate and study. [Throughout my senior year, I learned how to] Focus. Make sure to dedicate yourself within the work you have and have enough sleep. Have a healthier snack, spend money wisely, and a healthy sleep cycle. After graduating from high school, I will attend SUNY Albany. (Wow, it frightens me to write that!)Within five year, honestly, I see myself graduating college on time. After that, I don’t know. I can’t see myself so far away. I enjoy living in the present.To future generations, get stuff done on time and dedicate. Make sure you plan accordingly and have fun.
Once More With Feeling
Everyone’s ears rang when they heard his name and the chewing came to a minimum across the brown wooden table of four. A teenage boy with dark brown hair shaped into a fohawk sat across Olivia and all he could do was curve his lips, smirk, and continue eating his chicken teriyaki sandwich. The white and black clock on the brown wall in Subways read 3:30 PM. His best friend, Yasin, was right next to him and they looked at each other, turned, and their eyes strained with concern as they looked straight at Olivia. The two guys knew what happened, especially what happened between the couple’s relationship. She was caught flirting with another guy.
Every couple has fought temptation at one point. Surprisingly, he fought it, but all hope failed when he felt it happening to him. She was the first girl to have ever lasted this long with him. Her name is Olivia. She put up with his bullshit and her love for him hasn’t died…yet.
My name is Aiden. I won’t deny one fact, I am not a heartbreaker. This is my oath to you. I have no intentions on hurting you, but only to say the truth. Ever heard the phrase, "the truth hurts"? Reality is a daunting and hurtful realm. Without the truth, there would be no fantasy. Imagination is our escape from our fears and conflicts. I don’t like to see others cry or “be brave” because no one is trustworthy enough or you’re not comfortable to speak with others. I enjoy having meaningful conversations, the kind that make you want to reach a hand or shoulder. I like that, to sit and talk and help. I’m a caring person. I won’t deny, I am stubborn and hardheaded. I’m the youngest in my family and it’s hard to change one’s habits. Everyone calls me a flirt and a jerk. How does a flirt dress? I’m a jerk for simply being me? In all honesty, I enjoy wearing Nikes and Jordans. I wear skinny jeans with any kind of sweater or button down. I care about how I look because we live in a fucked up society. Everyone says, "don’t judge a book by its cover," yet appearances are everything and so are first impressions. I see life as it is. I don’t know if there is a higher authority watching over me.
After finishing our sandwiches, my stomach was happy, but I wasn’t. Walking towards the Q train station on 57th street, Olivia was in front of Yasin and I, talking to her friend. I walked in silence with my head down and I stared at the crack of the streets. I couldn’t bring any effort to call her so she could be my side. She never saw how I wanted her for myself, regardless if she was with her girlfriend.
“Okay. It was great meeting you again Aiden. Nice to meet you Yasin!” said Olivia’s friend. She gave us all hugs, Olivia being the last one. We watched as she went down the stairs and then it was just us three. Olivia looked at me. The sun reflected within her dark chocolate eyes and her heart necklace that I got for her as a birthday gift one year ago. She took out her hand, wanting to hold hands with me. I looked and couldn’t reject it, but stood quiet accepting it.
“What to do now?” Yasin asked as we stood by the train station for five minutes. The street was filled with people and we were blocking the subway entrance. He was the third wheel. He didn’t mind.
“Walk to Central Park? We are pretty close by…” Olivia suggested.
She looked at me to see whether I agreed or not. Looking in her eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. His name popped up and my whole day shifted from being really great and happy to depression and hurt. His name is Brian Yudi.
“I was never cheating on you! He said some cliché, corny pick up lines, and all I did was reply back being myself!” She yelled as she looked into my eyes. She was a couple of feet away from me but she didn’t want to sit close to me.
“You still responded back to him! You don’t understand. You never do!” I told her as she sat on the other side of the bench. She turned around and looked straight into my eyes.
“You flirt with other girls too. Don’t even say you don’t. You talk to Ashely, the girl that you know I am insecure about. You talk to June and she has a boyfriend! He’s in my class!” She knew I talked to other girls because I was constantly on my phone replying back to texts.
“But that’s the difference; they know I’m with you, so they don’t even fall for it. On the other hand, he flirts and you flirt back?! That’s you being ‘yourself’?” I wanted to shake her and tell her all the things that came rushing to my mind.
Don’t leave me. I love you. Regardless of your high walls that you put up against me, it’s something new. You’re unique and I can’t let you go. Not now. This motherfucker, he flirts with you. I saw it while I came to pick you up that day. It says it all. The body language and everything. Do you like him? I hate him. For trying to steal you, this amazing girl, away from me. I couldn’t bring myself to say those exact words. I wished I did.
“Babe, I don’t like him. I like you. I’m dating you. Not him.” Her calm voice said. She stood up and walked to my side of the bench in the park. Her hands were on the sides of my face. Her chocolate eyes were my rescue.
“I’m sorry. I won’t talk to him ever again. Even if he says hi, I’ll pass by him and ignore him. I promise. Please understand.. I want you and only you. You are my Aiden Labasan and my only.” Her hands gave me comfort and my anger, jealousy, and outrage slowly calm down with her voice. I wrapped my arms around her waist and we hugged. She smelled of roses and honeydew and I listened to her heartbeat as it calmed me down. This happened a year ago and until this day I hate him.
As we walked to Central Park, she didn’t ask me anything that was running through my mind. Yasin was ahead of us and he had his phone. It began to ring and he was talking to someone. She looked at me again.
“Babe…” She stopped walking and I stopped with her. “His name. I’m sorry. She doesn’t know what happened.”
“That still doesn’t change anything.” Those words escaped my lips without realizing it. Her eyes sprang with water and she looked down to the ground, playing with the cracks on the cemented sidewalk.
“Okay! Okay Mom, I’ll be there!” said Yasin. He clicked the end button on his white Blackberry and turned our way. Olivia heard and cleaned herself up. “Guys, I have to go. I guess we can do this another day.”
After Yasin left, it was just us two. She was quiet. Her brown hair cascaded down as she hid her face. She was in shame and sorrow. Even though it was a sunny day, for both of us, it was a stormy wind breaking us apart. Holding my hand out, we walked and finally entered Central Park. I was walking to a certain spot where we can sit and just enjoy the rest of the day.
The trees were green and extremely tall. Spring was beginning and our anniversary was coming up. I recall this because on my phone, there is an alarm on May 4th, 2010 titled “A year and six months with my pretty little Muslim girlfriend.”
“Where are we going babe?” She looked around. No one was here. I knew she would realize that this is a secret place.
“You’ll see.” I smirked her favorite grin and she gripped my hand tighter. No longer was she walking in her slow pace, she and I were walking together side by side on this gorgeous day.
Reaching our destination, we slumped on this little bench that stood open to the lake. Ducks were waddling in the large pond of Central Park and we had some chicken teriyaki bread so we gave it to them. After that was over, tugging her waist, I motioned for her to sit on my lap. My world was sitting with me. It felt too good to be true. She turned over to look at me and smiled. Her voice was calm and she was humming her song to me. Looking straight at my eyes, we both knew what was going to happen next. She began to linger closer and we kissed. We pulled away after two minutes and she smiled and giggled, wrapping my arms even tighter and holding them.
“I love this... Us.” She said. She was smiling so much and I kept on kissing her neck. It was her ticklish spot. She pulled away and I kept on going.
“Stop it my pecking chicken.” She laughed while I tickled her. Her arms were trying to untangle herself from my tickling and her giggle was the sound that made my heart flutter. She recently got accepted and was going to The Julliard School for dance and vocal. I was going to City College CUNY for the engineering program. We were graduating in June and I was her prom date.
“Sinta, I’m sorry for saying that today. I just can’t let go of what he did to us.” I told her.
She looked at me and smiled, “It’s okay sayang.”
It was funny of how we first found out our nationalities. She was talking to her mother on the phone and I was listening.
“Kenapa ibu? Olivia lagi di sekolah. Masih ada klass. Nanti Olivia telefone. Aiden mau ketemu Olivia di depan McDonalds. Olivia pulang jam 7 malam.” Olivia said as she spoke on the phone. She hung up and I looked at her.
“What are you?” I asked her. She laughed.
“Indonesian!” She said proudly.
“Aku suka’ kamu,” I said, "I like you."
She looked at me and was shocked. “You’re Indonesian?!”
“Nope, I’m Pinoy.” I said. She punched my arm lightly and smiled, while blushing at me. Ever since then, we have learned so much of our languages and it feels so comfortable.
This upcoming week, it is Spring Break. Her parents were allowing her to come over to my place to spend a couple of nights with my family and to Florida. I was excited. Her parents are awfully strict, despite the fact that she is Muslim, but to let her parents allow her to come over and be with me (any my family) for a couple of nights, I began preparing for some special nights for her.
The next couple of days we didn’t see each other because of our busy schedules, but we called each other and constantly texted. Everything was going fine, what could possibly happen? Looking at my calendar in my room, the date read Friday, the 27th of April. It was the night she was coming over. Day one. My parents knew I was happy. They even told me I was acting so different. I am “smitten” by her, my father says. Loving this new phase, all they hoped was for her to be a nice girl who was respectful, independent, yet beautiful, and sweet.
I called her at 5:30 PM, wanting to know where she was.
“Hi Babe!” Olivia cheerfully said on the phone. I could picture her smiling her five year old sweet smile.
“Hey sayang, where are you?” I eagerly, yet smoothly asked. In the background, I heard a couple of people. There was a guy’s voice. It was husky and rough. I recognized it.
“I’m on the train to your place,” she says in a stern voice. “What’s wrong?”
“Who are you with?” Ignoring what she said, I just wanted to know the truth.
“I’m by myself. I just bumped into a couple of people from school on the train since they take the train.” She simply stated. There was no hint of lying. Can I believe her?
“Is Brian there? You’re other boyfriend?” I needed to say that. I was just hurt.
“Yes Babe he is on the train. He didn’t say hi to me. He’s with his friends. He isn’t my boyfriend.” She didn’t like where this was going.
“Whatever, I see how it is.” I simply tuned her out as she told her pathetic story. I couldn’t believe that in all chances of us finally getting a moment together, fate decided to throw another conflict under our shoe.
“Babe. BABE. Are you listening?” She screamed.
“No.” I said. I stopped caring.
“I’m two stops away from your spot. Meet me by the deli where we always meet.” She said.
I walked out and as I got closer towards the train station, there were three police cars, two ambulances, a throng of people surrounding a site. Speeding up, I walked fast. I began running. News reporters came and cars were honking. Traffic was surrounding everyone. Everyone was in shock. They said it was a high school girl. A mother passed by me saying, "May God Help Her." Arriving at the site, I pushed everyone out of the way. My world began zoning out. I was getting closer and closer to something I did not want to know. I walked towards the caution sign. She was there, lying on the ground. Her face beat up. Her arms bruised. Her legs were no longer in the right position. Blood was coming from her arms and hips.
“OLIVIA. SAYANG. WAKE UP!” I ran to her. I held her in my arms. I kissed her. I hugged her close to me. The police asked me, “Sir do you know her?” By the tears of my eyes streaming down my face, they didn’t bother me. I heard her breathing slowly. She was saying something. “… I never lied to you…” As I took her in the ambulance to the closest hospital, I opened her bag. There was a folder. I opened it. There was a spam of emails printed out saying, “Don’t date Aiden, he’s a cheater.” “You’re getting yourself into the wrong position.” “He did some girl last night. I saw him.” “He’s lying to you, he doesn’t love you.” “You’re just his rebound!” She didn’t reply. Her phone vibrated, it was a text message.
“Note to self – Have trust.” Looking at her lay in the ambulance bed, I held her hand tightly, hoping she would wake up soon.
Every couple has fought temptation at one point. Surprisingly, he fought it, but all hope failed when he felt it happening to him. She was the first girl to have ever lasted this long with him. Her name is Olivia. She put up with his bullshit and her love for him hasn’t died…yet.
My name is Aiden. I won’t deny one fact, I am not a heartbreaker. This is my oath to you. I have no intentions on hurting you, but only to say the truth. Ever heard the phrase, "the truth hurts"? Reality is a daunting and hurtful realm. Without the truth, there would be no fantasy. Imagination is our escape from our fears and conflicts. I don’t like to see others cry or “be brave” because no one is trustworthy enough or you’re not comfortable to speak with others. I enjoy having meaningful conversations, the kind that make you want to reach a hand or shoulder. I like that, to sit and talk and help. I’m a caring person. I won’t deny, I am stubborn and hardheaded. I’m the youngest in my family and it’s hard to change one’s habits. Everyone calls me a flirt and a jerk. How does a flirt dress? I’m a jerk for simply being me? In all honesty, I enjoy wearing Nikes and Jordans. I wear skinny jeans with any kind of sweater or button down. I care about how I look because we live in a fucked up society. Everyone says, "don’t judge a book by its cover," yet appearances are everything and so are first impressions. I see life as it is. I don’t know if there is a higher authority watching over me.
After finishing our sandwiches, my stomach was happy, but I wasn’t. Walking towards the Q train station on 57th street, Olivia was in front of Yasin and I, talking to her friend. I walked in silence with my head down and I stared at the crack of the streets. I couldn’t bring any effort to call her so she could be my side. She never saw how I wanted her for myself, regardless if she was with her girlfriend.
“Okay. It was great meeting you again Aiden. Nice to meet you Yasin!” said Olivia’s friend. She gave us all hugs, Olivia being the last one. We watched as she went down the stairs and then it was just us three. Olivia looked at me. The sun reflected within her dark chocolate eyes and her heart necklace that I got for her as a birthday gift one year ago. She took out her hand, wanting to hold hands with me. I looked and couldn’t reject it, but stood quiet accepting it.
“What to do now?” Yasin asked as we stood by the train station for five minutes. The street was filled with people and we were blocking the subway entrance. He was the third wheel. He didn’t mind.
“Walk to Central Park? We are pretty close by…” Olivia suggested.
She looked at me to see whether I agreed or not. Looking in her eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. His name popped up and my whole day shifted from being really great and happy to depression and hurt. His name is Brian Yudi.
“I was never cheating on you! He said some cliché, corny pick up lines, and all I did was reply back being myself!” She yelled as she looked into my eyes. She was a couple of feet away from me but she didn’t want to sit close to me.
“You still responded back to him! You don’t understand. You never do!” I told her as she sat on the other side of the bench. She turned around and looked straight into my eyes.
“You flirt with other girls too. Don’t even say you don’t. You talk to Ashely, the girl that you know I am insecure about. You talk to June and she has a boyfriend! He’s in my class!” She knew I talked to other girls because I was constantly on my phone replying back to texts.
“But that’s the difference; they know I’m with you, so they don’t even fall for it. On the other hand, he flirts and you flirt back?! That’s you being ‘yourself’?” I wanted to shake her and tell her all the things that came rushing to my mind.
Don’t leave me. I love you. Regardless of your high walls that you put up against me, it’s something new. You’re unique and I can’t let you go. Not now. This motherfucker, he flirts with you. I saw it while I came to pick you up that day. It says it all. The body language and everything. Do you like him? I hate him. For trying to steal you, this amazing girl, away from me. I couldn’t bring myself to say those exact words. I wished I did.
“Babe, I don’t like him. I like you. I’m dating you. Not him.” Her calm voice said. She stood up and walked to my side of the bench in the park. Her hands were on the sides of my face. Her chocolate eyes were my rescue.
“I’m sorry. I won’t talk to him ever again. Even if he says hi, I’ll pass by him and ignore him. I promise. Please understand.. I want you and only you. You are my Aiden Labasan and my only.” Her hands gave me comfort and my anger, jealousy, and outrage slowly calm down with her voice. I wrapped my arms around her waist and we hugged. She smelled of roses and honeydew and I listened to her heartbeat as it calmed me down. This happened a year ago and until this day I hate him.
As we walked to Central Park, she didn’t ask me anything that was running through my mind. Yasin was ahead of us and he had his phone. It began to ring and he was talking to someone. She looked at me again.
“Babe…” She stopped walking and I stopped with her. “His name. I’m sorry. She doesn’t know what happened.”
“That still doesn’t change anything.” Those words escaped my lips without realizing it. Her eyes sprang with water and she looked down to the ground, playing with the cracks on the cemented sidewalk.
“Okay! Okay Mom, I’ll be there!” said Yasin. He clicked the end button on his white Blackberry and turned our way. Olivia heard and cleaned herself up. “Guys, I have to go. I guess we can do this another day.”
After Yasin left, it was just us two. She was quiet. Her brown hair cascaded down as she hid her face. She was in shame and sorrow. Even though it was a sunny day, for both of us, it was a stormy wind breaking us apart. Holding my hand out, we walked and finally entered Central Park. I was walking to a certain spot where we can sit and just enjoy the rest of the day.
The trees were green and extremely tall. Spring was beginning and our anniversary was coming up. I recall this because on my phone, there is an alarm on May 4th, 2010 titled “A year and six months with my pretty little Muslim girlfriend.”
“Where are we going babe?” She looked around. No one was here. I knew she would realize that this is a secret place.
“You’ll see.” I smirked her favorite grin and she gripped my hand tighter. No longer was she walking in her slow pace, she and I were walking together side by side on this gorgeous day.
Reaching our destination, we slumped on this little bench that stood open to the lake. Ducks were waddling in the large pond of Central Park and we had some chicken teriyaki bread so we gave it to them. After that was over, tugging her waist, I motioned for her to sit on my lap. My world was sitting with me. It felt too good to be true. She turned over to look at me and smiled. Her voice was calm and she was humming her song to me. Looking straight at my eyes, we both knew what was going to happen next. She began to linger closer and we kissed. We pulled away after two minutes and she smiled and giggled, wrapping my arms even tighter and holding them.
“I love this... Us.” She said. She was smiling so much and I kept on kissing her neck. It was her ticklish spot. She pulled away and I kept on going.
“Stop it my pecking chicken.” She laughed while I tickled her. Her arms were trying to untangle herself from my tickling and her giggle was the sound that made my heart flutter. She recently got accepted and was going to The Julliard School for dance and vocal. I was going to City College CUNY for the engineering program. We were graduating in June and I was her prom date.
“Sinta, I’m sorry for saying that today. I just can’t let go of what he did to us.” I told her.
She looked at me and smiled, “It’s okay sayang.”
It was funny of how we first found out our nationalities. She was talking to her mother on the phone and I was listening.
“Kenapa ibu? Olivia lagi di sekolah. Masih ada klass. Nanti Olivia telefone. Aiden mau ketemu Olivia di depan McDonalds. Olivia pulang jam 7 malam.” Olivia said as she spoke on the phone. She hung up and I looked at her.
“What are you?” I asked her. She laughed.
“Indonesian!” She said proudly.
“Aku suka’ kamu,” I said, "I like you."
She looked at me and was shocked. “You’re Indonesian?!”
“Nope, I’m Pinoy.” I said. She punched my arm lightly and smiled, while blushing at me. Ever since then, we have learned so much of our languages and it feels so comfortable.
This upcoming week, it is Spring Break. Her parents were allowing her to come over to my place to spend a couple of nights with my family and to Florida. I was excited. Her parents are awfully strict, despite the fact that she is Muslim, but to let her parents allow her to come over and be with me (any my family) for a couple of nights, I began preparing for some special nights for her.
The next couple of days we didn’t see each other because of our busy schedules, but we called each other and constantly texted. Everything was going fine, what could possibly happen? Looking at my calendar in my room, the date read Friday, the 27th of April. It was the night she was coming over. Day one. My parents knew I was happy. They even told me I was acting so different. I am “smitten” by her, my father says. Loving this new phase, all they hoped was for her to be a nice girl who was respectful, independent, yet beautiful, and sweet.
I called her at 5:30 PM, wanting to know where she was.
“Hi Babe!” Olivia cheerfully said on the phone. I could picture her smiling her five year old sweet smile.
“Hey sayang, where are you?” I eagerly, yet smoothly asked. In the background, I heard a couple of people. There was a guy’s voice. It was husky and rough. I recognized it.
“I’m on the train to your place,” she says in a stern voice. “What’s wrong?”
“Who are you with?” Ignoring what she said, I just wanted to know the truth.
“I’m by myself. I just bumped into a couple of people from school on the train since they take the train.” She simply stated. There was no hint of lying. Can I believe her?
“Is Brian there? You’re other boyfriend?” I needed to say that. I was just hurt.
“Yes Babe he is on the train. He didn’t say hi to me. He’s with his friends. He isn’t my boyfriend.” She didn’t like where this was going.
“Whatever, I see how it is.” I simply tuned her out as she told her pathetic story. I couldn’t believe that in all chances of us finally getting a moment together, fate decided to throw another conflict under our shoe.
“Babe. BABE. Are you listening?” She screamed.
“No.” I said. I stopped caring.
“I’m two stops away from your spot. Meet me by the deli where we always meet.” She said.
I walked out and as I got closer towards the train station, there were three police cars, two ambulances, a throng of people surrounding a site. Speeding up, I walked fast. I began running. News reporters came and cars were honking. Traffic was surrounding everyone. Everyone was in shock. They said it was a high school girl. A mother passed by me saying, "May God Help Her." Arriving at the site, I pushed everyone out of the way. My world began zoning out. I was getting closer and closer to something I did not want to know. I walked towards the caution sign. She was there, lying on the ground. Her face beat up. Her arms bruised. Her legs were no longer in the right position. Blood was coming from her arms and hips.
“OLIVIA. SAYANG. WAKE UP!” I ran to her. I held her in my arms. I kissed her. I hugged her close to me. The police asked me, “Sir do you know her?” By the tears of my eyes streaming down my face, they didn’t bother me. I heard her breathing slowly. She was saying something. “… I never lied to you…” As I took her in the ambulance to the closest hospital, I opened her bag. There was a folder. I opened it. There was a spam of emails printed out saying, “Don’t date Aiden, he’s a cheater.” “You’re getting yourself into the wrong position.” “He did some girl last night. I saw him.” “He’s lying to you, he doesn’t love you.” “You’re just his rebound!” She didn’t reply. Her phone vibrated, it was a text message.
“Note to self – Have trust.” Looking at her lay in the ambulance bed, I held her hand tightly, hoping she would wake up soon.
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